I grew up in a culture where positive reinforcement wasn’t the norm.
Compliments like “you’re beautiful” or “I’m proud of you” were non-existent. Instead, I was met with sarcasm, teasing, and heavy criticism of words that, even in translation from Russian to English, could make someone cry. And if I did cry? I was told I was weak.
The Cost of Harsh Programming
As a child, I didn’t know any better. I internalized every jab, every joke, every critique. I learned to harden. To shield my heart. To appear strong. And over time, I became emotionally heavily burdened by identities that weren’t truly mine.
People didn’t see me for who I was.
They saw a version of me programmed by their words.
But thank God for the teachers who appear when we need them most.
The First Person Who Really Saw Me
In high school, one teacher changed everything. Every day, she poured belief into me. She told me she was proud of me. She helped me see the light I had buried under layers of pain.
And while that planted the seed, it wasn’t until much later in life that I fully understood what was happening on a deeper level.
Understanding Myself Through Human Design
Through Human Design, I discovered I’m a Projector. And one of the core needs of a Projector is to be seen.
But here’s the twist: it’s not just about being seen by others, it’s about learning to see yourself first.
For years, I dimmed my light, letting it flicker out in fear of rejection. And when I finally tried to shine, it often came from a place of desperation:
“Look at me!” instead of “Here I am.”
Can you feel the difference?
“Look at me” is seeking validation.
“Here I am” is embodied worth.
Why Personal Development & Mirror Work Matter
Healing begins when we stop chasing outside approval and start rewriting the inner story.
Mirror work changed my life. It helped me soften. Forgive. Let go of who I was told to be, and step into who I truly am.
That’s why I’m so passionate about personal development and mentorship. They create the safe space we never got as kids. They help us GROW at every level of life.
And when we grow? We finally open up to receive what we’ve always desired.
Join Me for GROW — A Free Human Design Masterclass
If you’ve ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected from your light, this is your invitation.
On Friday, June 6th, I’m hosting a FREE Human Design Masterclass called GROW and I would love for you to join me.
We’ll dive into the conversation that unlocks the next level of your life. (And yes, there will be a replay if you can’t make it live.)
Let’s grow together. Let’s remember who we are. Let’s begin again, with softness, intention, and truth.
