May 3, 2011 Yesterday didn’t go quite how I imagined it to be. The first half of the day was great, we spent time at the beach with my friend. We laughed a lot, but then it was time to get ready for dinner.
We went inside and started getting dressed. He put on a powder blue shirt that looked 2 sizes too big with stains on it. I looked at him and told him his shirt was stained. He told me it was the only one he brought.
Something came over me. Suddenly, I was embarrassed. I was bringing this man to dinner who was already wearing
a wedding ring and he brought a shirt out of the laundry hamper? What would my friend think? What would her friends 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘? What did 𝐼 think?
I started to feel all kinds of uncomfortable. Where could I hide. Could I back out now? No, breathe. Pull it together Shil. It’s gonna be ok.
We went to dinner at Prime Steakhouse. I had never seen side dishes cost so much money… I was kind of blown away.
Ben was funny, charismatic. He had this infectious energy. No one cared about the things… and if they did they would’ve never told me.
Dinner was so much fun!
I went outside to smoke a cigarette(I smoked for 15 years. 3 months in he asked me stop and I did, that day) there was an older lady with a cast on selling roses. She told me I looked so happy. There was something about her. I felt sorry for her. I wanted to buy her roses but I had no $$. I went inside and asked Ben to buy me a rose . I told him the story of the lady and how I felt. He went and bought the entire table roses .
Why am I sharing this? Because we 𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑔𝑒 a book by it’s cover always. I know I did. When I went for a man the physical was one of the first things that I looked at. With Ben I was being tested.
Would I be shallow and judgmental or would I feel his heart ?
We do this with all the people. We see their appearance first and we create these stories about them that may or may not be true. But we energetically take time to vibrate at a lower frequency for a caddy comment in our minds or worse to a friend. Instead of sending love their way and honor them for wherever they are in this moment in time.
Ben Lover taught me a lot about judgment along the years. Some of his highest sales days I looked at him and questioned how he left the house. But that man vibrates so high you can look passed the physical and 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 him. What if we were all blind and felt the energy of each other’s hearts. What if we could look passed the physical things and connect with people on a soul level?
Forgiveness and love are the key.
Forgive what you have done and judged and fill that space with love.
We spent the night together and it was also not what I was expecting at all… this story you will have to wait for the book for… but don’t worry there’s lots more juicy stories without you coming into the bedroom… 𝑦𝑒𝑡…
See you tomorrow…