June 2, 2011 Today was the day that Mikey was supposed to meet Ben, but he stayed at his dads for an extra day that meant mama had the apartment all to herself!
So day 36 got hot and heavy in between the sheets . Another story that you’ll have to wait to read in the book.
However, I want to leave you with this…
Cheating isn’t always what it seems. It’s not as 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 as people think.
As attracted as we were to one another, there was this level of guilt and shame that 𝒘𝒆 both had to deal with so the intimacy took a while to cultivate.
There were many tears in the early days together. There was a lot of emotion and a lot of pain. Neither Ben or I wanted anyone to get hurt, but inevitably in any break up someone will
𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 get hurt. In this situation we were 𝑎𝑙𝑙 hurting.
Men stay in marriages because they think it’ll be easier than divorce. Women stay in marriages for the same reason. Neither happy, both longing for more…
And then one day something 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 shows up.
I read a post that said “once a cheater, always a cheater” and I don’t believe that to be true. Friends told 𝒎𝒆 that early on too….
There’s a difference between a husband who cheats bc the intimacy is gone and a husband who cheats while the intimacy is still there and vice versa.
I think it’s important for me to share this bc I know someone is reading this triggered AF bc of their own experience. Blaming the other woman instead of looking inward at where the relationship got lost and taking responsibility for that.
We had many conversations about him going back. We had many conversations about working things out. But his marriage was over long before I ever came into the picture.
For my own peace of mind I needed to know I did everything to make this wrong right. But it would take years to get to a level of forgiveness with all parties involved.
Unfortunately, because of the sequence of timing, I would take on the brunt of the responsibility from every angle. It was 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅!
When women tell me they’ve entered into a relationship with a married man, I will always steer them in a different direction bc let’s face it, I got real lucky that Ben chose me. Not all men do that and the aftermath is painful.
What I lived through is not for the faint of heart. In the end, I would do it all over again but in the beginning I would’ve wished it had a different start.
Be kind to everyone you meet. You just don’t know their story, until you really get to 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 their story. Who’s coming back for 𝐃𝐚𝐲 37?
Costa Rica sunset 3/2017. Ben Lover is there now without me….