Day 13

May 8, 2011 I woke up on this Motherโ€™s Day morning with the biggest smile on my face. Was I dreaming? Or was this ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘™ life? I look at my phone… thereโ€™s a text from โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘š.
๐ป๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘€๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿโ€™๐‘  ๐ท๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ ๐ต๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ข๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘™.
This wasnโ€™t a ๐‘‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘š. This was real life. This was ๐‘š๐‘ฆ life. But why? Why was this happening?
I was doing all the work. The love work, the gratitude work, the forgiveness work.
Why was my manifestation coming through this way? (Little did I know then, I was about to go through a major
๐‘ข๐‘๐‘™๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘™.)
I was so specific, ๐ผ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘”โ„Ž๐‘ก. Ben is everything I asked for… but why did he have a wife? How did this happen? How would this work now? Do I tell my friends? My ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘–๐‘™๐‘ฆ? What would they ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ or ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘˜?
All of a sudden my heart started racing, I was getting ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘กโ„Ž, I was sweating, my mind was racing. I was having a panic attack.
๐‘ฉ๐’“๐’†๐’‚๐’•๐’‰๐’† I repeated to myself. ๐‘ฐ๐’๐’‰๐’‚๐’๐’† ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐‘ฌ๐’™๐’‰๐’‚๐’๐’†. ๐‘ฉ๐’“๐’†๐’‚๐’•๐’‰๐’†. You are ok Shil. You are protected. ๐‘ฉ๐’“๐’†๐’‚๐’•๐’‰๐’†.
(Panic attacks were a regular occurrence for me in my 20โ€™s and early 30โ€™s. I hated being medicated for it, so in my spiritual journey I learned how to breathe through it. It would take more than breathwork to get through the next 6 + years but I figured it out along the way.)
๐ผ ๐‘Ž๐‘š ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘“๐‘’. ๐ผ ๐‘Ž๐‘š ๐‘œ๐‘˜. ๐ผ ๐‘Ž๐‘š ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘.
๐‘จ๐’๐’ˆ๐’†๐’๐’” ๐’”๐’†๐’๐’… ๐’Ž๐’† ๐’‚ ๐’Ž๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’‚๐’ˆ๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’Š๐’• ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’๐’Œ.

๐—ง๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป
Benjamin: I miss you and I canโ€™t wait to see you again. I hope you are having a beautiful day. Me:

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SHILAMIDA

SHILAMIDA

It is my pleasure to work with you on your emotional, mental, and physical being. Iโ€™m here to help you find the balance and connection between your mind, body and soul. We were all brought here for a reason and to fulfill a purpose. Itโ€™s time to become the best version of YOU. You deserve it and it is my mission in life to help you achieve that. I truly believe you have the power to create the life youโ€™ve always desired.- and I can help you. Iโ€™m looking forward to learning and growing with you! XO Shilamida

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