The only thing we have control over in life is our reaction. You do not have control over anything else in life. The only thing that you have control over is how you’re going to react. You don’t have control over the fact that your kid is going to have a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket or at church on Sunday when everybody is quiet. You don’t have a choice if your boss isn’t going to give you that raise, but what you do have a choice in is how you’re going to react to all of that.
Our reaction is what determines the next phase of what’s going to happen. If you decide to react in anger, fear or in the heat of the moment, it’s going to spiral into a lot of other things. What we need to remember is life is a series of tests and lessons. Every single thing that we’re put up against is either a test to see if we’ve mastered that lesson and you’re going to repeat that over and over and over again. Just like everyone we meet is either for a reason, season or a lifetime. We need to control our reaction.
In my past years, I had trouble retaining staff and for me there was a lesson behind it. There was spiritual work that I needed to do in order to move past that hump. In the beginning I played the victim. Like, it must be them. I just can’t find a good employee because there is no good employees out there. I created all these stories. Then one day it hit me because I went to go see a spiritual therapist and I was able to talk this stuff out with them. If I was to talk to my best friend about the fact that I can’t retain an employee, what’s my best friend gonna tell me? You’re awesome, something’s wrong with them. Our friends, our partners, they’re there to lift us up. They’re not there to tell us the truth. They’re not there to unblock the things that are happening in your head that’s causing this stuff to happen.
This spiritual therapist said to me, she said instead of looking at this as karma, why don’t you go back and do the ho’oponopono? So if you’ve ever heard of that before, it’s I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you and thank you. It’s something that we recite, this is an old ancient Hawaiian tradition when somebody in a Hawaiian village used to be a troublemaker or caused problems for other people in the community. So when somebody comes before you and you don’t like that person or that person makes you angry or there is anything negative, that person is a mirror for you. That is a reflection of you. It was one of my hardest spiritual lessons to learn is to look up against somebody that I don’t like and find the qualities within myself that I don’t like.
Once I was able to do that, stuff started to shift. So when the glass breaks on the floor to say, you know what, that’s okay, or to hear that somebody that you love is talking about you behind your back, to come to the realization, you know what, maybe we’re not supposed to be friends anymore. Maybe I’m supposed to move on from this situation. I’m not gonna get mad and waste that energy. That mad energy, I could be using that to focus on something to manifest on.
The biggest lesson in all of this is to control your reaction and how do we do that? We have to learn how to breathe. You have to learn how to breathe and that for me only happened about two years ago when I really made the commitment to have a yoga practice and to go a minimum of two to three days a week. There was a shift in my entire existence because it wasn’t about the movement in yoga. It wasn’t about what crazy pose I could get into. It was about can I shut down, can I center, can I focus, and can I breathe? If I focus in on that breath, I can get my body to do whatever I want it to do. So don’t react. It’s a hard one, but you can do it.
For more inspiration, visit my YouTube channel Goddess of Gratitude.