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The Voices in Our Heads

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    This week the recurring theme coming up for me is Perception. How we react and respond to things based on our perception of what is happening. The little voices in our heads telling us things as we think they appear, not as they actually are.

    My son and his friend got into an argument and his mom mentioned to me that at our fundraising event, my son gave her son the cold shoulder… Or at least that was her son’s version. When I asked my son what had happened, my son said, “no mom, I said hi and everything was fine that night.”

    As adults we do this all the time, or at least I used to. You show up to a school event and go up to a group of moms and someone there is having a bad day, that has nothing to do with you, and may not have said hello, or might’ve been rude in passing and you hang on to that and let the voices in your head run with it. ‘Is she mad at me? What did I do? She’s such a b*tch?’ I know you’ve experienced this before. It is our perception in the moment caused by our reaction that allows us to make up these stories in our head and if we have no or little control of our minds, we can destroy ourselves with the stories we make up.

    Another great example for my Real Housewives of Orange County fans. This past week’s episode, when Shannon made a comment about Lydia and her not having boob jobs and grabbed the other girl’s legs under the table. Lydia got mad because she thought Shannon was making fun of her, but Shannon was grabbing the girls because of what Peggy said. Lydia was self conscious or uncomfortable over the breast implant comment and anything thereafter had to revolve around her. Reaction to our perception in the moment can be explosive and destructive.

    How do we stop this? We need to start taking a step back. Breathing through whatever is happening and taking time to assess a situation with a clear mind. Obviously for kids it’s a little hard to do this, but for the mom showing up to a school event thinking that the other mom has a problem with her, when in actuality the other mom may have gotten into a fight with her husband, or gotten laid off from a job, or had a death in the family.

    There are so many things that we go through as human beings every single day. And then we have to go out into the world and act “normal” as though nothing is happening and then we have to encounter other people and we are not thinking about what they are going through because we are only thinking about ourselves in that moment.

    Next time the chatter starts in your mind, Stop a moment and breathe. Stop thinking about you in that moment and think about the other person. What is it that they are going through? What kind of a day or life are they having. Find compassion. Lead with love. If you follow these guidelines your interactions with others will become smoother and less explosive.

    It’s great to start your day with a positive intention. Today everyone I meet will be kind and peaceful. The day will run smoothly. All of my emails and texts I will send with love. Every phone call I receive will be positive and uplifting.

    And of course we have to be grateful. I am grateful for clarity, I am grateful for truth, I am grateful that I breathe instead of react. I am grateful for peace, I am grateful for calm, I am grateful for understanding, I am grateful for compassion.

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